Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations. Deuteronomy 7:9
I drove down the repaved highway. Years of repairs and traffic had been completed long before I had finished my errands and headed home. Do it Again by Elevation Worship played over the speakers. I sang along.
You made a way where there was no way
And I believe I’ll see you do it again.
As the lyrics came out of my mouth, years of traveling this freeway filled with its old potholes and few lanes, which I rarely travel anymore, flashed in my mind.
I was sitting in the passenger’s seat or in the backseat going to or from school or heading to a friend’s house. I knew the hours of traffic long before Google Maps could predict it. I knew the nooks and crannies that had formed in the road causing our little car to bump and bob about in the lane. I knew the billboard ads and theapproximate ETA as little landmarks faded behind us.
As we drove, thoughts of jumping out of the car and ending everything would tempt me. If only I had the nerve to pull the handle. But I did not. I could not even unbuckle my seatbelt for that matter. I was angry and had little hope for future endeavors, despite good grades in school and great friends.
Driving down the new pavement over fifteen years later with such a different perspective made the lyrics that much more alive and well. Everything the Lord has walked me through - from repentance to giving me the grace to forgive in order to bring much needed healing I never knew I needed to showing me the power of transparency - made it a bit unfathomable to think of where I had come from all those drives ago.
The Lord had made a way for me, where I could not have seen or even understood in that season and I cannot help but thank him for that today. It is not because of anything I did but because of how he lavished his love and forgiveness on me before I deserved it. The same love and forgiveness he offers to everyone, including you.
The thing that sticks out most in this season is the thread of God’s faithfulness. I prayed during those drives to a distant God I had heard about and believed in but whose heart I could not fathom and still cannot fully grasp. But prayers from my broken self lacked hope and were prayers of release from this life. Prayers for death.
I am thankful that the Lord knew better than to answer and turned everything that had died in me and breathed new life in my lungs through his Spirit. As we enter into a season of opening our hands and trusting God with our schedules and finances and all the in between, I know he will make away. He is faithful and has been, long before I really knew who he was. I am looking forward to seeing him do it again.
*If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please look into programs to get help, like Mercy Multiplied and the National Suicide Hotline. You are worth it.
// DIVE DEEPER
+Do a word study on faithful in Hebrew (blueletterbible.org is a great resource for this).
+How have you seen God’s faithfulness in your life? In this season? Make a list of tangible things He has done. Praise him for it.
+Is there anything that is holding you back from fully living (i.e. unforgiveness / unconfessed sin / anger)? Set aside sometime this week to pray about anything that is hindering you. What is your next step?
Praying you would take time to see God’s faithfulness played out over the course of your life. Praying you would see how he has been there since your birth and has made a way for you since. Praying your hope would be renewed and restored as you allow him to continue to trust in him and truly know he is faithful – he will never leave of forsake you, friend.
Originally posted in The Inspire Monthly newsletter, June 2018. Join the adventure to be the first to get it straight to your inbox, along with other fun tidbits from the shop.