music monday: oceans by hillsong

When Peter and Andrew and the other ten were called by Jesus to come and follow him, surely they never would have dreamed what would come about. All the healing of the sick and restoration of the blind and the thousands fed with a few loaves and fishes and the evil spirits cast out and walking on water. Miracle after miracle was performed before their eyes.

When you follow Jesus, you never know what will come of it. It is one step of faith after another. It is an endless chasing of the wild goose.

As God has lead me to writing, he has been leading me to other adventures out of my comfort zone with it. Things like taking a trip to the other side of the states by myself to attend a writing conference and fundraising to offset the cost.

Oceans by Hillsong could be my anthem and the fix to the awkward + nervousness + excitement that the whole thing is entailing Have a listen.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

In October, a group of God loving ladies will gather to connect and encourage one another in writing about Jesus at the Allume conference. A trip that will be roughly cost $1500 and be an opportunity for God to remind me that his ways are not mine and to fully trust him.

I have never packed my bags to travel alone. I have never done a solo flight. I have never been to the East Coast. I have never spent that much on a trip for myself, or my family. And honestly, I would never want to. But God keeps nudging and prodding and saying go. So this is the start of the adventure to follow him.

And in a fashion only God would do, I am fundraising to offset the cost via mugs, little cups of truth. I know, God is so funny.

A small shop is set up here, if you are interested in purchasing one. If you are local, I can deliver, just let me know. And if you could say a prayer for me, I would appreciate it more than you know.

Praying that if you feel God leading you to do something that you would jump in with both feet and get ready to get messy and dig and work and learn more than you would have imagined. Praying your comfort zones would continue to fall and humbleness would soak through. Praying that your faith would be made stronger and that you would see the miracles along the way and point others towards Jesus.

Here's to guiding and adventure. 

music monday: cast my cares by tim timmons

Penny had fallen asleep in the car, so we transferred her straight to bed, without changing in to her jammies. When she woke to use the bathroom, she noticed and wanted to change and asked for help. Half way through, she had a change of heart and wanted no help. In her tired state of mind, she decided to do it by herself, putting back on the clothes from the day.

With frustration, she proceeded to put her shirt on upside down, inside out and backwards. As she cried, stating she needed no help and could do it herself, I waited.

And God reminded me of how often we say we will follow him and cast off our old selves, only to be held in bondage by the days past. How we willingly go back to our sin. We go back to trusting ourselves to knowing what is best for us, instead of trusting God; thus make a mess of things as we meander through it all. Instead of putting off the old self and the things that hinder, we hold them tighter and mix them up with things of God. For when we are in that place, we cannot hear wisdom or guidance from God or others. And in some cases, doing whatever we are doing all in the name of Jesus.

Penny proceeded to tell me to go away please, that she did not need me. I asked if she was sure. And she assured me she was, as she laid on the floor with a mess of clothes.

And like that, we tell God we don't need him either. He can go away because we are good. We are good doing our own thing. We don't need anyone to help. But we do. We need God. We need him to come in and show us how to let go. How to transform our old self in for his purposes and take our brokenness and use that for his glory. How to cast our cares to him and trust him. Truly trust him.

Cast Your Cares by Tim Timmons fits here. Have a listen.

I will cast my cares on You the almighty
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You're good
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You love me, You love me

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

Praying that you would fully cast your cares God. That you would cast off everything that hinders you and the sin that so easily entangles. Praying that instead of seeking self reliance that you would seek dependence on God. Praying that you would continue to be renewed and revitalized in your walk with Christ and not be held in bondage from the past. That you would seek the things of his kingdom and his teachings above the world.

Here's to casting off the old for new.  

music monday: tis so sweet by jadon lavik

Over the past year, God has opened my eyes to small things that I thought I trusted him with and made me realize otherwise. He has shown me how some responses have been rooted in fear, instead out of pure trust. These days, he reminds me to ask myself what my decision is based on before answering. If it is rooted out of fear - what might happen or the possible side effects - then it is not of trust or him. Good judgment is crucial and trusting God that if something were to happen that it is all in the palm of his hand. Entirely depending on him for the outcome.

It is small daily fears that so easily entangle. Yes, fears of heights and alligators and sharks may be typical but usually do not pose a daily threat, whereas the fear of a school shooting or car accident or failing at a presentation at work or school may hold you captive and instill an automatic no response. Fear of your child being at school during a shooting or not get the best education, so he is moved to another. Fear of your child being in a car accident with a loved one driving, so she stays home. Fear of not being able to meet work expectations, so you decline the promotion or project. Fear of people looking down on you, so you do whatever is required. Fear of the unknown. Fear of something outside of your control. These are little snares that so easily entrap you throughout the day that you may not have even noticed them.

Tis so Sweet by Jadon Lavik is a beautiful version this classic. Have a listen.

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His Word;

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

It is sweet to trust in Jesus. And rest in his Word and his promises. To not have to worry about anything. Scripture has so much to say about trust and testimonies of those who have gone before us with the benefits of trusting God. Abraham trusted God to go to a new land. Moses trusted God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Noah trusted and built an ark. Trust is not something that happens over night. It takes time. It requires a giving up of yourself to be able to trust God. To gauge his dependency status. To give him a chance to come through or if you will have to do it yourself. To allow him the follow through.

Praying that you will put your complete trust in God. Praying that you would not lean on your own understanding of the situation because sometimes we are not meant to understand but simply follow in obedience. Praying that you would be conscious of what you are basing your decisions off of and that God would guide you to one that requires trust. Praying that trust in him would be built and would be a constant in life. Praying that fear would not have a grip on you and for trust to be embedded in your being.

Here's to decisions and less fear. Here's to more confidence in God.

music monday: while i'm waiting by john waller

The waiting period.  

Someone shared with me recently that she did not have enough to pay her rent. She has been learning to trust God but said he was taking too long, so she went out and bought lottery tickets, instead of waiting for him to fill her need. She admitted she was wrong and had not waited and of course, her tickets did not hold the winning numbers. I thanked her for her transparency because it was a big thing to share and not often does a person see the wrongs of her ways so quickly but God had showed her and she is continuing to learn and trust and wait.

Waiting is such a fickle thing. Something you cannot quite gauge that pops up at the most inopportune times and seems to smirk as it goes along. Waiting erupts in to questions and what ifs and soon you find yourself up the creek before you ever even got in the boat. 

It can drive you to do things you would not normally do or ever think of doing. Like Sarah, who after desperately waiting for the child God promised, gives Abraham permission to take another wife to have a child (Genesis 16:2).  

Waiting can also create idols. The longer you wait for something, the more that you want it, the tighter you tend to grasp it once you have it. The bible does not mention that Abraham made an idol out of Isaac, but God does instruct Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, which God may call you to do with something you hold near and dear (Genesis 22:2). This obedient act returns Isaac back to Abraham with fresh eyes, a deeper faith and trust in God and many blessings.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Paul tells us in Galations not to become weary in doing good, which can be hard when waiting is required. Not to become weary when we are waiting for test results or the diagnosis. Not to become weary in disciplining our child for hundredth time. Not to become weary in our marriage or ministry or position because we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. God will provide throughout the waiting and lead us graciously in to the next step.

While I'm waiting by John Waller tells of how to wait. Have a listen. 

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord

And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord

Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

Praying that as you wait, you would worship and find peace in knowing that God is in control. Praying that your waiting would produce patience and perseverance and more trust than you have ever known. Praying that you would see the benefits of not having your request answered immediately and the work that God is doing in and around you because of it.

Praying that you would enjoy the waiting period. Praying that you would not get ahead of the plans or jump through hoops that God has intended on giving doors to walk through. Praying that you would not hold your child or job or spouse or possessions so tight that you feel them less. 

Here's to waiting and trusting.