savoring the year: a new way of living in my body {25/365}
How have your feelings about your body changed over the years? Do you ever think of it as a friend? Do you have compassion toward it? What would that look like for you?
I have to say I was a little bummed when I read over this
prompt; once again talking about my body. I touched on these questions on
this post and some on this one and even a bit here. I think it may be making me a little self
conscious with all the attention it has been getting lately.
It seems like I will have to inevitably move on to describing
my body in detail, like its pear shape that my sweet fashion teacher surprisingly
pointed out to the class, as I stood next to the cutting table lining up my
pattern to cut during our lecture on body shapes and outfits that flatter them.
Naturally, I will then move on to scars, like the one on my right pinky where the sharper
than normal butter knife slipped and cut to the bone. And the shiny rectangle one
on my left leg, on the bottom of my knee where several layers of skin were
scratched off by the corner of the TV in my shared room, after my sister in her
anger threw it on the ground in front of the door and my unsuspecting self knew
nothing about it when I entered.
All that to say, yes I like my body and I am ever grateful
for it. It is a sweet friend, who has put up with a lot and thankfully still
works as it should, even when I indulge in too much chocolate.
I do not think I can squeeze out anymore about it at this
point and will bow out of this, a little shorter than usual, as is my height.
And hoping you are loving the skin you are in, too because it is quite fabulous, friend.
Here's to more stuff about bodies.
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This is part of a 365 day blogging series through Savor by Shauna Niequist. If you would like to blog along, whether daily or weekly, I would love to have you for the journey; be sure to link back to the post. And if you are not a blogger, you can join along, too. Just leave your response and answers in the comments.
savoring the year: summer at the lake {22/365}
Embrace the joys of summer by dancing, swimming, sailing, wriggling your toes in the sand, or even just feeling the sun on your face.
I love summer. California summer
to be exact because it is not the same everywhere. It has its own smell that
draws out memories and curates new ones, like long summer nights and the smell
of water running from a sun heated hose on to plants and toes.
Oceans and lakes and rivers and
pools have always been some of my favorite things.The beach is my favorite with its
salty air and almost always guaranteeing a breeze. In high school Santa Cruz
and its famous boardwalk became an essential part of summer.
It started with a trip with
Kristina and Matt and their dad and my then boyfriend Dave and Ricardo and his little brother, Chris, all picked in their Astro van. Kristina's dad entertained us on
the way there with sing alongs and funny stories and allowing us to decide which
route to take, through the city or ocean view. We played mini golf, where I
somehow managed to get a hole in one and lose my ball in the same game. We swam in the ocean and laid in the sun and
posed for silly pictures of fake shark attacks and riding on kiddie toys.We stopped on our way home and
ate at Onos, a local sea food restaurant. After much resistance, I hesitantly
tried raw fish for the first time and was not a fan like I was sure I would not
be.
The following summer Ricardo and
I and Chris and Manny and Senia and Maria, embarked on our own adventure piling in to his parent's
suburban and started the two and a half hour drive, my sister and her boyfriend
following along in his truck.
We played more mini golf and took
up the arcade, watching the boys work up a sweat over Dance Dance Revolution. We
ate strawberry funnel cakes, over flowing with powdered sugar and vanilla ice
cream and walked up and down the boardwalk, taking in the overcast weather.
We stopped at Onos on the way
home, trying to remember how to get there before GPS was on available on our
smart phones. As we attempted to navigate, we wound our way down highway one
during its reconstruction, with my sister leading the way. They entered a do
not enter zone; their truck disappearing as we looked at each other in the
suburban hoping there was not a cliff of the other side of the signs. We
stopped to turn around as the sun set and hoped their car would return
unharmed.
The truck headlights returned,
after what seemed like forever and we gave up on our search for dinner, just as
we passed it on the high way. We turned around and enjoyed some food, no fish
for me this time around, accompanied by horrible service. We paid the bill
leaving no tip and started walking to our cars, when the waiter approached us
in his apron, stating because there was so many of us, we had to leave a
mandatory tip, though it was not disclosed anywhere on the receipt or menu. We
stood in disbelief, refusing to pay, when I gave in and paid what he said was
owed to stop all the awkwardness of it all and vowing not to come back.
We laughed and drove home, almost
getting crushed on our way in to San Francisco through the tunnel bridge.
And each year we have returned,
Ricardo and I, a little older and a little more lured by its magic and fun and
its symbol of summer and our youth. It is where we eventually said I do and ran
in to its waves, wedding rings fresh on our fingers and my lips turning blue
from its cold afternoon wind. It is a little spot in our story filled with sand
and sun and enchantment.
Here's to all things summer.
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This is part of a 365 day blogging series through Savor by Shauna Niequist. If you would like to blog along, whether daily or weekly, I would love to have you for the journey; be sure to link back to the post. And if you are not a blogger, you can join along, too. Just leave your response and answers in the comments.
music monday: jesus paid it all by kristian stanfill
I was talking with my husband about big picture / calling / God things, my favorite topic of choice, when I told him I felt like I was beating a dead horse in regards to this writing thing. It is the same underlying message in each post, written differently in essence. But God keeps leading me to share. And how some days I do not want to give the time and effort to beat that dead horse.
I said it once. Isn't that enough? And that one post back there was pretty good, God; there is nothing like the Holy Spirit leading the writing but would rather not right now.
But my husband reminded me that is what God has called him to do as a pastor. Share the Gospel. A simple message that weaves throughout the centuries and has been told and shared in millions of ways since and we are all called to share it in some form or another.
Because God loves you, he sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross for your sin. He rose on the third day and ascended up to heaven. Now, come follow him. Eternity is at your fingertips.
It is that simple.
But simple things need simple illustrations like mustard seeds and fishes and prodigal sons to get the points across. To relate to the now.
And we need reminders of the truths because we forget. We need encouragement when the storms are raging.
And so for now, I sit and pray and offer some words as a sacrifice of praise. As an act of obedience and knowing that someone, somewhere needs some refreshment.
Because you are doing great things, my friend. God is using you in ways you never will imagine to accomplish things you will never comprehend in this lifetime.
Because God is a God of purpose and plans and the writer of the Big Picture. And with Him, nothing is dead. Nothing is too dried or withered or past expiration for God to restore and renew and refresh.
And that is worth pressing on and finishing the race. That is worth playing the part in this story because a time is coming when everyone will answer to him about how we spent our time and used our recourses. Jesus paid it all for me and for you and the least we can do is be obedient to his leading, which is for our own good. I know, imagine that.
Jesus Paid it All by Kristian Stanfill fits perfectly here. One of my favorites. Have a listen.
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
O Praise the one
who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead.
Praying that whatever you are called to do, that you
would do it all for the glory of God, despite afflictions or discouragement or qualifications. Praying you would
see the bigger picture and that you would continue to be encouraged and have
the endurance to keep doing what God has called you to do.
Praying you would
praise Jesus for paying your debt and that would be the motivation for you to fulfill your calling. Praying you would see glimpses of how God is using you
in the here and now and that you would be able to see it in others, revealing to
them their parts in the story.
Here's to endurance and
keeping on.
music monday: thrive by casting crowns
It was a rare occasion to have Jude
up without Penny's presence in the middle of the afternoon, so we took full
advantage and headed outside to the swing set. As we walked bare feet in the
grass, Jude squatted down and pointed and shouted at the little thing moving
about in the grass. Bugs are exciting and always something to talk about with
him. It was a bee. Wandering from grass blade to grass blade, it was
frantically jumping and running to and fro, trying to get somewhere. We watched
as it did its little dance, sans flying. Each time it moved, it got a little
faster and appeared more flustered.
Perhaps the little bee had used its
stinger and could no longer fly. I know little about bees, besides their honey
making - stinger carrying - flying abilities. But it is not every day that bees
go hopping about in the grass. And the oddness was intriguing, especially to my
one year old. It was not doing what it
was made to do.
We were made for a purpose. We were
made to do more than ordinary things. More than the nine to five and houses
with white picket fences and college degrees and two children. We were made to
do good works which were prepared in advance for us. We were made to have an
intimate relationship with God and use our God given gifts to further his
kingdom.
Thrive by Casting Crowns fits perfectly
here. Have a listen. Feel free to have a little dance party, too. It is one we
tend to turn up over here.
We know we were made for so much more
Than ordinary lives
It's time for us to more than just survive
We were made to thrive
There is so much relief and peace that stem from doing what God has made you to do. Not that it is easy in the slightest or comes fully natural but being in the will of God is sweet spot to be. Since I started writing, God has revealed himself in ways I could never fathom and it is truly an adventure and a dependence and trusting in him in ways I never needed to before.
When we are going against God's leading and making our own way, we will be working harder and getting more and more flustered. We will be building our kingdoms taking two steps forward and five back, even when things appear to be making progress. Is progress really progress when we are walking farther away from the will of God?
Praying that if you have yet to see what you were made to, what gifts you possess, the things that come easy to you but others tell you how hard it is, that you would seek God in the them. That you would see where God will take you with your skill set as you lay down your own expectations and will and start to align it with God's, despite whatever it may cost you.
Praying that you would search your heart to see what a life filled means. That you would look at the end of your life and see what you want to have accomplished and what that would entail. Praying that you would long for a life fully surrendered to Christ and impacting those around you. That it would be a life full of serving and truly loving people and loving God, for that is the purpose of life.
Here's to purposes and the bees.
music monday: god moves in a mysterious way by jeremy camp
Usually my husband is the pancake flipper. Cooking breakfast (and any other meal) is one of his specialties, which works out perfectly with my affinity for home cooked meals. This day, however, I took on the role as pancake flipper and was on my way to pancake perfection when my three year old questioned my flipping procedure that she had witnessed so many times before.
Why do the pancakes have to be flipped?
They must cook on both sides, I
responded.
But why do the pancakes have to be flipped?
The batter only cooks on one
side, so the other side has to cook, too. For the other side to cook, it must
be flipped over, I reasoned with her.
But why do the pancakes have to be flipped?
She obviously did not understand
the concept, despite showing her the difference between the raw side and the
cooked side. She just saw the flipping. And something about the flipping
intrigued her, so much so she could not see past it this particular morning.
After the tenth time, I assured her I just had to do it.
Why?
This word is intriguing. So much
can come out of this three letter word. Why did he do that? Why did she have to
go there? It can take you in to an analysis overload where questions outweigh
reason and slightest look has you wrestling,
Why has been rolling around in my
head lately. Why was the tree of knowledge in the middle of the garden? Why was
sin allowed to enter our bodies? And why is the wage of sin death? Why the
family unit comes after the fall of man?
Somewhere, someone has some
theological answers with some sort of biblical backing. But I like to think of
some fun reasons, too. And in the wonder and questioning and lack of
understanding, God reminds me to be still (Psalm 46:10). To praise him because
I do not understand because I was not created to know everything.
He knows the path of thunder and shut up the
sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb and made the clouds its
garment and wrapped it in thick darkness and fixed limits for it and set
its doors and bars in place and said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here
is where your proud waves halt’? (Job 38).
Because he is God. He knows. He
is ways are not our ways. We do not understand why the flipping and cooking
occur though we watch it before our eyes as the minutes turn to hours and days
pass by.
God Moves in Mysterious Ways by
Jeremy Riddle fits neatly here. Have a listen.
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform.
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
Praying that your whys or hows or whens would draw you nearer to God and that you would praise the Creator as you learn to trust him. That you would see glimpses of the bigger picture and stand in awe at the works of his hands. Praying that you would see the importance of the role that you play in His piece and how you have been created for a specific purpose (Ephesians 2:10).
Here's to questions that lead to worship and praise and admiration.
music monday: did not have a home by bethany dillon
Throughout high school I loved
Jones Soda. The tasty flavors along with random pictures on the label and fun
little fortunes on the bottoms of the recaps won my little heart. One lunch,
during my gypsy-esque days, my fortune read: good luck will knock on your door. A well meaning friend optimistically
responded that it meant I would soon have home with a door to knock on.
I have moved more times than I
have toes and fingers to count. The longest residence in the past 15 years was
at our previous address where we resided for two and a half years, which we are
approaching at our current. When we first moved here, I remember speaking with
my husband about the lack of that homey feeling. Since the celebrating of holidays and
birthdays and adding another baby, the homey feeling has made its way here,
too. Like it eventually does.
Residency and longevity and
stability that an address provides is a unique thing. It gives a place to put
your earthly treasures and display photos of memories past and makes a
gathering spot for friends and family to congregate to make more.
Jesus responds to a man who says
he will follow him wherever he goes with:
Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have
nests; but the Son of man has no place to lay his head (Luke 9:58).
Once Jesus began his ministry, he
did not have a home. He took the stance of a homeless man. He walked and taught and trusted God for a place to sleep.
There is a lot of beauty in this aspect of his ministry. He did not need to
rely on an address or possessions because he was involved in God's work and will
for his life. His trust in God was so
much so that he did not need to know where he would lay his head at the end of
each day - God would provide.
Perhaps this person valued their
comfy, safe life with their things and address. Perhaps Jesus was challenging
the very thing that was a stumbling block for him, like he did with the rich
young ruler (Luke 18:18-30). Following Jesus
is never how we picture it. We would never imagine the good things that he
has planned for us accompanied by the hard things we face, which are for our
benefit - used to refine us.
Here's a little song about Jesus'
lack of a home redone by Bethany Dillon. Fun lyrics - the wife part is interesting since he did not come for
that - but fun none the less. Have a listen.
Birds have nests, foxes have dens
But the hope of the whole world rests
On the shoulders of a homeless man
Praying that comfort would subside and that trusting and following Jesus would be your main focus. Praying that you would not grow so comfy that you forget to look outside of your home to those of your neighbors. Praying that love and compassion and hospitality would reside in your home.
Praying that thanksgiving and gratitude for your home would dwell constantly in your heart and that you would follow God's leading in how to use it for his glory. Praying that your eyes would be opened to any stumbling blocks that are in view and that you would have victory over them through Jesus.
Here's to homes and comfort.
seeing beauty in yourself
I always kept make up simple. The
feel of cover up on my skin was an easy aversion and my freckles were never
covered up no matter how hard I tried, anyway. Mascara, eye liner and eye
shadow were my go to with some sort of lip gloss to tie it all together.
About six months before my wedding,
I started having issues with my contacts. And then a sudden onset of makeup
allergy to boot. Bulging red, stinging eyes are not fun or pretty.
I tried different brands of makeup.
Made sure my brushes were clean. Still nothing but red, swollen and stinging
eyes. Then one day I stopped. When I say me, rather it was God who answered a
prayer he put in my heart months earlier. When I looked in the mirror he
allowed me to see me in his beauty and light, the way he sees me and the way he
created me to be. I did not need makeup or contacts to feel beautiful or secure
in my looks.
I tried the contact route a few weeks ago. There are new brands and types out these days, so I thought I'd give them a whirl for fun and some change but the stinging eyes and redness returned with them. My glasses are great, any who, and less hassle and maintenance. And they serve as a little reminder of God's continued faithfulness to answered prayers.
I tried the contact route a few weeks ago. There are new brands and types out these days, so I thought I'd give them a whirl for fun and some change but the stinging eyes and redness returned with them. My glasses are great, any who, and less hassle and maintenance. And they serve as a little reminder of God's continued faithfulness to answered prayers.
Beauty is not found in magazines.
That is where Photoshop is found, along with air brushed cheeks and shiny skin.
For you are God’s masterpiece. He has created you anew in Christ Jesus, so you can do the good things he planned for you long ago. Ephesians 2:10
He made you. He made you perfectly.
You are beautiful and full of the life that God has so carefully breathed in to
your lungs to do amazing things. You have more potential than you know. Makeup
is only skin deep but truly loving who God made you to be and embracing the
skin you are in is a blessing.
I pray that you
would embrace the uniqueness that is found in the dimples on your cheeks and
the wrinkles that are starting to form around your nose and the hairs that
constantly fall out of place no matter how hard you try to train them to go the
opposite direction. I pray that you would see yourself as God created you. Past
the imperfections. Past the scars and comparisons. To the child he made you. You
were made perfectly.
Here's to true
beauty and more smiles. Less time looking in the mirror and more time spent
looking at who God is and who he created you to be.