Emotional Endurance, Principle Two: Resilience to Rise
I have had the gift of gleaning from Leslie’s book club this summer, reading through her first draft of her book last year as she submitted it to her publisher, and hearing her heart for encouraging others at her Arete retreat.
She is an enthusiastic and encouraging women, who is sharing her heart and wisdom in Emotional Endurance : Faith Fueled Skills for Bouncing Back, her new book that releases this Tuesday, July 28th. You can preorder on Amazon or your favorite book retailer.
As I have reread the book this summer in tandem with the study guide, it has been a sweet time to reflect on life and how different aspects of Emotional Endurance play out in my life.
The book is broken up into six core principles. She details reflections and exercises to defining the why, how to break through set backs, and become resilient, where to find margin and rest, along with persevering and more.
With her book launch just five days away, I will be sharing daily reflections for the next six days based on a Reflect + Connect question from each of the principles in her book.
Every choice we make is inherently motivated by specific factors: our needs, wants, goals, and even our fears-some consciously and many subconsciously. Which is why it’s essential to understand the relationship between our emotions and motivations that influence what and how we choose. Leslie Bosserman, Emotional Endurance, p. 55
We all have certain internal and external factors - relationships, resources, and responsibilities - that influence our motivation and ability to make decisions and lead change. Leslie Bosserman, Emotional Endurance, p. 56
Consider your biggest motivators. Are you typically driven more by internal desires or external circumstances?
The words “Congratulations Doctor” hung on the door frame of the office in gold glittered letters. In the distance a photo of a beautiful sunset with hues of orange and yellow reflecting on a river hung on the wall. Underneath the photo was the word goals. The word took me back to conversations I have shared with my husband, friends and prayerfully rolled around in my head for months.
What are my goals for this season? Do I have the capacity to add one more thing?
My ultimate goal since motherhood has always been raising my family in a way that honors God - pointing them to Jesus.
My husband and I both come from broken homes, so our prayer and motivation has always been to change this narrative for our children, giving them the healthiest family dynamics we can create, which is easier said than lived some days.
Seeing the word doctor sparkling on the doorpost brought me back to thoughts about returning to school to pursue naturopathic medicine.
For months I mulled it over until I recognized my goal: to be available for my children and husband, friends and neighbors (without deadlines and reading assignments looming over me) so I can enjoy this season that will be here today and gone tomorrow.
As a natural achiever and maximizer, it is easy to fill my plate with things that will not matter in the long run or that distract me. I have always had an innate drive. Reaching my goals and pushing myself too hard was the norm. I had no awareness of what life with margin was like.
Putting myself through college with twelve or more units a semester while working full time and designing for the school’s fashion show almost put me over the edge. But I was determined to finish and I did. By God’s grace, over the years I have learned how to filter the yeses and nos from the internal and external forces that drive me, my family being a key part.
While transferring files off my computer, I uprooted photos and videos of my fifteen year old daughter in her toddler years. It went by in the blink of an eye. This season of her high school years will too and by God’s grace I hope to be as present as possible.
Sure a career and higher education is amazing. I know numerous fantastic women who are incredible moms and do it all but that has never been my goal.
So for now I say no to some good things in order to say yes to homeschool adventures, board games, more bike rides, planting herbs in the garden, friends over for tacos and just maybe a cleanish home - while I can still say yes because nothing is guaranteed this side of heaven.
I have stocked my shelves and cupboards full of books and herbs, studying on my own in spurts of free time. Mixing salves, teas and tinctures for my kiddos, friends and family for various alignments. Seeing the amazing effects they have had has been life giving in this season.
While I am not dedicated to school and study, I am still learning, still experimenting and still enjoying this season of motherhood as I fix my eyes on the goal - all while teaching my children about natural ways of living in the process: how to identify plants, which herbs are good for certain alignments, how to make a salve. Ever so slowly they are learning right beside me. And perhaps starting new endeavors together. Stay tuned.
Praying that whatever your desires or goals are, that you would have time to pray and reflect on your capacity. That wisdom would guard your choices and that you would fully embrace your season, whether adding something new or saying no to something sweet.