emotional endurance, principle one : fortitute to fail
I have had the gift of gleaning from Leslie’s book club this summer, reading through her first draft of her book last year as she submitted it to her publisher, and hearing her heart for encouraging others at her Arete retreat.
She is an enthusiastic and encouraging women, who is sharing her heart and wisdom in Emotional Endurance : Faith Fueled Skills for Bouncing Back, her new book that releases this Tuesday, July 28th. You can preorder on Amazon or your favorite book retailer.
As I have reread the book this summer in tandem with the study guide, it has been a sweet time to reflect on life and how different aspects of Emotional Endurance play out in my life.
The book is broken up into six core principles. She details reflections and exercises to defining the why, how to break through set backs, and become resilient, where to find margin and rest, along with persevering and more.
With her book launch just six days away, I will be sharing daily reflections for the next six days based on a Reflect + Connect question from each of the principles in her book.
Principle One: Fortitude to Fail
Experiencing failure gives us the opportunity to cultivate the fortitude to recover and spiritual stamina to get back up and continue. - Leslie Bosserman, Emotional Endurance
Recognize and call out any lies you have been believing. What truths can you claim and accept instead?
Calling out lies and claiming truth? Yes, please. That is my jam.
Keeping my identity rooted in Jesus allows the lies to pop up where I can see them and the truth of scripture to cover them but that does not negate the battle.
Being a mama is the greatest gift and my biggest challenge. Coming from a broken home and raised with broken relationships with my own parents, I lacked the example of what it means to be emotionally involved with my children or raise them up in the faith. It has been a journey of surrender, learning from others and daily prayer.
That said, in my earlier years as a mama, my confidence in my parenting skills were in a flow of constant mom guilt and trying to figure out all the things. Researching how to do things the “right way.” Trying harder. Pushing myself more. Ultimately leaving me exhausted. What I needed was a nap and truly knowing what it meant to trust my children to the Lord and placing my identity in Him.
After doing the hard work of working through my childhood issues and learning who I was in Christ, when my daughter was a toddler, I became a better mom but the nagging voice of not being enough for my children would pop up. In a bible study I was given the Who I am in Christ list by Neil T. Anderson of Freedom in Christ. It was life changing.
Several years later as I was working through biblical truths, I compiled my own Speak the Truth list, which is now used in Inspire Gatherings and hung in just about every room in my home.
Over the years as I recognized my own shortcomings as a mom in tangent with the truth of scripture, I have a steady Word to stop the lies when they come because the lies will come. It helps that it is hung all over so I can remember when I am brushing my teeth or playing in my children's room. I get to choose what I believe and what to do with them. I also get to walk in the humility of reminding my children I am not perfect, which is why I need Jesus and His grace.
This year, the lie of not being enough as a mom has popped back up. Long days of appointments, dysregulated children, discussing negative behaviors of my children with leaders and navigating food sensitivities has made it all the louder.
At the realization the lie had manifested, I immediately declared it untrue and turned to the truth of what God says about me. I shared the intrusive thought with my husband and a few friends, inviting them to pray for me. I kept my eyes on my Speak the Truth sign as I brushed my teeth and repeated the I am list with my children during our morning devotionals.
Shortly after my realization, we celebrated Mother’s Day, which completely caught me off guard this year. Mom, the neighbor is here for you, my boys called to me. Quickly coming back inside from cleaning up after the chickens, I washed my hands and went to the door, unsure which neighbor they were referring to.
These are for you. You are a model mom. Happy Mother’s Day, he shared as he handed me a bouquet of light yellow flowers, my favorite color.
Shocked, I wanted to look behind me to make sure he had the right person and jokingly wondered just how much Ricardo paid him to say that. Living in what I call a European neighborhood, our homes are close. He can hear all the things, which lead our other next door neighbor to move out of our cozy T court. Our community lifestyle, which did not align with his, along with my lively active boys made for a strenuous relationship for someone who wanted a quiet private lifestyle.
He had no way of knowing the intrusive thoughts or my feelings of failure. This sweet gesture was a reminder that God sees and others can see the pieces our eyes are unable to catch in the midst of everyday life.
Motherhood is a long game. An adventure of learning and growth. A blessing and a refiner's fire I would not trade for the world.
If this lie resonates with you as a mama, I encourage you to Speak the Truth over yourself and take time to ask the Lord what he says of you.
You can download the Identity Passport here in a 8.5×11” printout.
Pin it to your mirror, fridge or phone. Wherever you look often.
He has gifted you with the children in your home for such a time as this. Seasons come and go but the truth of God’s word never does. Praying for the Lord to open your eyes to the joy set before you and that you would know that you are enough. You are precious in His sight. He sees you and is with you always.