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when mama ain't happy.

Tiffany NicoleComment
Growing up, I never understood the plaque lovingly given to my mama by my aunt: when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and Mama's reluctance about it. Essentially, it is a little like calling the kettle black and goes along with the old adage I learned from my grandfather in law a few years back: happy wife, happy life.

The core truth is the enormous impact we have as mamas and wives in our home. We have the ability to set the tone. For fun and learning or anger and condemnation.

Proverbs has a few things to say about what it is like to live with a wife who chooses the latter (and it even says it twice):

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9 + Proverbs 25:24

A quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof. Proverbs 19:13 + Proverbs 27:15

No mama or wife wants to be described as quarrelsome but as days progress and seasons change, it can be easy to get stuck in routine and for complaining to become a go to language, so I thought I would share my "go tos" when things get a little tough.


Being a prayerful wife and or mama is like going to war for to defend your country and a way to keep God at the center of your home. Prayer is powerful and the way to combat spiritual warfare, to bring about a servants heart in yourself and others, and a means to be in relation with the God of the universe constantly.

In the midst of a disagreement with your spouse or child, taking time to invite God in to the situation is life changing. It gives new perspective and renews the heart and mind. It is hard to be bitter in the presence of a powerful God and a great reminder of his sovereignty overall.

Having someone praying for you throughout the day is a powerful weapon, as well. Being able to text a friend or spouse during a rough patch is encouraging for both parties involved, witnessing the need and the response.


Taking a break throughout the day to read scripture brings God's word to life, even if it is just a moment. Instead of reaching for Facebook or other social media, open your bible to see what God has to say, if only for a few verses.

Having a set time through the day to study scripture is key to growing in your faith and trust in God, allowing you to reflect him during the harder times.  

If you do not have a chance to read, listening to scripture is a great option, too. The YouVersion Bible App has an audio portion that reads the bible to you, perfect to listen to in the car or while you do dishes. SeedsFamily Worship puts scripture put to songs, which I love to listen to anytime but really comes in handy on harder days.

Sing praise songs

When worship starts, it is hard to stay angry or mad. Being able to change your focus from the situation to God makes everything seem a little smaller and keeps God in perspective. 

Praying for you, whether your home is brimming with peace of filled with discontentment, that you would encounter God throughout your day and that it would change the ambience of your home. Praying that God would show you ways to make your home a haven and that you would diligently out in work to make it so, whether by picking up extra chores or not perusing a disagreement. Praying you would cloth yourself with strength and peace and mercy and strength as you serve your family and that you would be able to pour it out on them.

Here's to mamas and setting the tone.