Hearing the Voice of God // by allison dolin
As children, we can believe that a large man delivers presents to all the good boys and girls in the world on a single night. We believe that somehow when our teeth fall out of our mouth, they hold so much value that a mythical creature will fly in our room undetected, just to trade our teeth for some monetary compensation.
Why is it that when we grow up, believing that God speaks to us, seems so impossible? Do we just think that God has better things to do with His time? Does our sin and shame, make us feel unworthy? Do we just think we aren't important enough to God? There are so many things that can make us believe that God would choose not to speak with us.
I once heard a quote that said, “It’s not that God doesn’t speak to us. He does! It’s not that we don’t hear His voice. We do! It’s that we don’t believe that He’s speaking to us.”
There’s that idea again of belief…of faith. Our faith dictates hearing God’s voice. Detecting that still small voice. Believing that when God speaks to us, that is exactly what it is.
There have been many times in my life where I question God’s voice.
“That was a strange thought…I’ll just ignore it.”
“Why do I feel like I should call that old friend up…eh…I’ll do it some other time.”
Why is it that we cry out for God to speak to us? Beg Him for wisdom and guidance, then ignore it when He does?
We don’t need to guess and be left on our own. God has made us a promise in His word.
Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.
When you hear those thoughts that don’t quite make sense, adhere to them. When God impresses something on your heart, don’t ignore it. But, always…ALWAYS go to God’s word to make sure what you’re hearing lines up with Scripture. That's the surest way to decide if what you're hearing is God, you or even the devil's sneaky voice.
I have found that God in His goodness, will always confirm my hesitant human heart. I believe He honors that I am truly seeking His heart and His direction. Each time I have asked, “Lord, is that really what you want me to do?” I always receive loving confirmation.
Have you convinced your child that a bunny delivers treasure filled baskets on Easter? That if they make that face long enough, it would stick?
I hope we are more easily convinced that our Heavenly Father speaks to us. Desires relationship with us. And a healthy, loving relationship involves lots of communication!
God is speaking to you. God is speaking to me. May we embrace a childlike faith to enjoy the beauty of this truth!
// ABOUT ALLISON
Allison is a single mom, who homeschools her son and works full time for a wedding website company. She and her son live near Sacramento, where they can be found making an adventure out of everyday life. Whether they are exploring a local zoo or their backyard, Allison is intentional to make the little things in life as magical as possible.
She is a survivor of domestic violence and a Certified Advocate for Victims of Abuse. She uses social media and her blog to educate and empower women to find freedom and healing in Christ. Allison’s heart is to create for victims/survivors of abuse, what she wished she had when she left her abusive marriage. Her desire is for women in trauma to understand that they are loved, they are not alone and God has a plan for their life.
Find her encouraging women on Instagram @hope_in_healing and her blog.
Intimacy is Intentional.
If there has been one thing that has been a resounding cymbal in my life recently, it is that my relationship with God is sacred and needs to be valued.
I will be the first to admit that I have a difficult time putting God at the beginning and center of everything. It easy for me to wake up and rush into my day without ever thanking God for the air I woke up breathing. It’s easier to make a decision in the moment that feels right than really seeking God for his wisdom on it.
I know from experience when I’m not placing God at the center of my life, I’m going to struggle more than if I would let him in.
Read that one more time.
Did you catch the word more.
I know I forget even when I am walking with the Lord I will face trouble. However because I have Him I am not crushed, perplexed, or abandon.
The way The Passion Translation puts 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
"Though we experience every kind of pressure, we’re not crushed. At times we don’t know what to do, but quitting is not an option. We are persecuted by others, but God has not forsaken us. We may be knocked down, but not out.”
Knowing all of this leaves me with a choice. To continue to try to do things on my own, or to lie down at his feet and allow him to work in me and through me. I would much rather have the latter of those two. In this season I feel like I’m learning really practical ways that I can connect with the work without it feeling like a burden. I’d love to share just three of those with you and maybe you can find one that will help you draw closer to the Lord.
1. Doing a devotional/bible study
Right now I am reading through a devotional called 100 Days to Brave by Annie F Downs. I absolutely love her books and would recommend them all! They have carried me through so many seasons. This one is written as a devo page or two long that you can read pretty quickly every morning or night. I prefer to start my day with the devo and even try to read my before my feet ever hit the floor.
If you’re not looking to buy a devotional or study there are plenty of free downloads on the Youversion bible app.
2. Journaling your prayers
When I am feeling really heavy and I want to draw close to the Lord I love to grab my journal and pour out my prayers and my heart in my journal. I love actually writing them out because it gives me the ability to go back months and years down the road and see all that God has accomplished. This is another great way to start your day, waking up thanking God for that day (so much changes when we start each day with a heart of thanksgiving) and pouring out every burden you have. If your mornings are too busy, take a few minutes every night to reflect on your day and thank God for what he has done and pray for anything on your heart. Try it for a week and see how it feels.
3. Art and the Word of God
One of my favorite ways to meditate on scripture is to embrace my creative side by turning what I’m reading into a piece of art. For me, this usually looks like calligraphy or watercolor. Feel free to use whatever medium of art is most comfortable for you. Not forcing something that feels unnatural. If art is not your thing, you may not connect to God in the way and that’s okay. If you haven't tried though, I would really encourage it. Breathe, slow your mind, ask God to reveal more of the scripture and let your mind paint the picture for you. If you try this at all I would love to see what you create. Please share it with us!
Connecting with God on more and more intimate levels is a process, and one that takes time. I’m thankful we are on this journey together. We may not be where we want to be but we are getting there together.
I’m so excited to see what we learn this month as we continue to discuss creating foundations with our creative devotional study.
Let’s dive in deep, lay it down at his feet, and see just how much freedom we can experience in the loving arms of the Father.
All my love,
Elizabeth
// About Elizabeth @etothegreeno
22. Artist. Writer. World Traveler. Light Giver.
May my life be a constant reflection of the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus. May the work he has done in me be a testimony of provision and favor.
Submit, surrender, believe.
If you know me, you may know that I am a very black and white thinker. This has not only served me well, but it also hindered me from overcoming certain beliefs and lies. This month we have been talking about the word RENEW.
For as long as I can recall I felt like in order to experience renewal I had to go from one person to another in a single action; that I could be instantly renewed if I just prayed and asked God to heal me or take away my negative thoughts. Come to find out that’s not at all how the process works.
Renew is defined as the processing of making something new by resuming an interrupted activity, re-establishing relationship, or repeating an action. None of those would make you believe that to be renewed is a onetime process.
It’s an everyday choice; it’s showing up on the hard days, on the good days. It’s believing in the truth even when it feels a million miles away and like you can even fathom reaching it. For me it’s believing in God - that He can do what He says He can, that He is making me into who He has called me to be.
He’s shaping me into the women of God that I never thought possible.
I am the pot in the potter’s hands.
I am the vine being tended to by the vine dresser.
My process of renewal isn’t coming outside my relationship with Jesus. At least the process of renewal that is helping me fulfill my purpose.
For me it all started with making the choice to establish my relationship with the Lord after years of running and living like an orphan. That place left me feeling broken, miserable, and honestly hopeless.
Friend, if you feel like you are lacking purpose, if you feel alone and burden, ask yourself what are you allowing to renew your life? I believe we can use other things to renew us that are not healthy. Maybe we believe alcohol will help us to feel satisfied. Maybe it’s even things like shopping for things we don’t need, saying yes to everything to help us feel fulfilled.
What I am trying to say here, beloved, is that we have a chance to decide what we give ourselves too. And sure we can choose the things I listed above, but speaking from personal experience those will not satisfy. They will not bring contentment, joy, peace, or the person you are designed to be.
Here may be another slightly controversial and difficult statement. We can’t have both. The bible is super clear about being in this world but not of it. As hard as it is (speaking from 100% personal experience here) we have to learn to lay aside the things that are not helping shape us to be more Christ like.
Easier said than done, right?
Welcome to the process of renewal. The choice to submit, surrender and believe that with him, all things can be made new.
I feel so challenged by this, friends. Challenged because there are still things I am laying down and learning to surrender.
We have the opportunity to be renewed day by day.
We get to choose.
Let’s choose together friends to lay our lives down for a purpose and a calling so much bigger than we can create for ourselves. Let’s give the Lord the opportunity to come in and renew our hearts and minds and lives to be more centered on Him.
// About Elizabeth @etothegreeno
22. Artist. Writer. World Traveler. Light Giver.
May my life be a constant reflection of the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus. May the work he has done in me be a testimony of provision and favor.
give yourself time.
A couple of months ago, a friend & I walked into a clay shop and before me were (what seemed like) endless options of clay items that I could paint. A Sloth. Plate. Box. Mug. Any animal. Ya know, all the things. The list goes on and on.
After debating and picking up many items and then placing them back on the shelf due to my indecisiveness, I opted for a coffee mug. However, the process really just began at this point.
From there I received the quick run down, things to do/not to do to help make for a smoother time and better finished product, including the encouragement to put on an apron since it was bound to be a messy adventure. Next, I stared at all the color choices.
I’m pretty sure they had every color shade imaginable, with or without sparkles of course.
At last, every decision I needed to make was complete and it was time to sit down and paint. I took a deep breath and began.
I knew the general idea of what I wanted the final product to be, but I was oblivious to what the journey would be to get there.
Ya know, paint bottles that didn’t want to disperse paint. Paint smudges. Running out of a specific color. Smeared words.
But as I pushed through and continued on, I started seeing it all come together.
Finally, I arrived at what seemed like the end but that was the point when I had to leave my mug behind so it could be glazed and go through the fire...it had to be transformed just a little more so that it could truly sparkle and shine.
The overall theme displayed on my mug became a great representation of the overall experience and it sure does apply to the journey I’ve personally been on, and perhaps you have, also...either now or at another point in your life.
Just as a caterpillar goes through the process to transform into a beautiful butterfly, and like the process I walked through with my mug, we each go through a process as well when we’re being refined and transformed into the best version of ourselves.
Does it happen over night? Absolutely not.
Is it painless? No.
Is it messy at times? Sure thing.
Are there things along the way that represent smudges or smeared words? Oh sure there are.
But is it worth it to give yourself time and see what comes from it? You bet.
Trust the process, friends.
You’re a beautiful work in process, and you’re worth every single second it takes.
Much Love,
Taryn
// About Taryn
Insta: @taryn.it.upppp
I’m an almost thirty year old gal who has experienced the radical transformation that only Jesus and His love can bring about. Although originally from Ohio, I now live in southern Tennessee and have added the phrase ya’ll to my every day vocabulary. ⠀
⠀
You can usually catch me singing along to most any song that comes on, sipping a chai tea latte at a local coffee shop, or enjoying time outdoors which is where I connect with God the most!
art + worship.
For Christmas last year, my husband gifted me a fancy, journaling bible that had just released. Another bible was a sweet surprise but something I did not know how to use, as I have a few for unique purposes but this one did not fit into a category.
Early this past fall, I stumbled into bible journaling on Instagram. I had not heard much about it or understood what it was but one post caught my eye: mother – daughter bible journaling sets.
My daughter is a born creative and I knew I had to do this eventually - when she was older. But as I thought about it and saw all the beauty of the bible journaling community, I opted to gift her one for Christmas.
This made me think about my own fancy, journaling bible with its gold embossed cover and pretty lettered pages that I had started using for my afternoon readings through Proverbs.
Its pages were straight and neat. Almost too pretty to touch with a brush or felt tips. The initial thought of covering its pages with paint and color were a little daunting, as I did not want to ruin it.
But the idea of the mother – daughter set kept floating around and so I went for it, just before purchasing one for her.
Taking the leap and making a mess of the page with paint and lettering was more fun than I had anticipated. Especially, the first time we were able to sit down together with our water colors and colored pencil and illustrate God’s word. To my surprise, my daughter decided to paint, in biblical order, descriptive pictures from the text – from Noah’s ark to Cain coming behind Abel to murder him (I was a bit shocked by this one, though the illustration was well rendered AND she quoted the exact verse).
It was a sweet time and exciting to see her actually reading the text as she painted, something I had not considered when I had chosen my favorite translation for her bible, the ESV. It has been a beautiful outlet for her and I am thrilled for this little adventure we are on together, as we worship together in the truths of scripture and art.
Worshipping God can come in many forms, from art and bible journaling to hiking and prayer. Praying that if there is anything that you have been hindered or put off doing to worship God that you would push yourself to it and go there, even it is messy and feels like you are ruining the very thing that you are trying. Praying that you can laugh as you learn from the process and embrace the joy that is to be had there. Praying that Lord would guide your steps as you take them and that you would see Him in light as you worship.
//DIVE DEEPER
+ Read Psalm 148. *Use the SOAP method for a deeper study. Download it for free here.
+ Is there anything that you have wanted to try? Is anything stopping you? If so, take time to pray about it. Find time this week to do it or set a date.
+ Is there anyone you can invite into it?
Originally posted in The Inspire Monthly newsletter, February 2019. Join the adventure to be the first to get it straight to your inbox, along with other fun tidbits from the shop.
get in the boat
As I was lying in bed last night, I closed my eyes, tears leaking out of the corners. I was frustrated, discouraged, hurting and kind of lonely. It stemmed from a way too hectic schedule and from missing my time with God. Then out of nowhere - God gave me a vision. Consider yourself warned, it's an odd one. It made me laugh out loud and the tears suddenly stopped as I looked at the sight behind my closed eye lids. I saw a helmeted turtle standing upright in a boat, out in the middle of a body of water. Seems logical, right? It really made me laugh and then made me wonder. I asked God what it was supposed to mean and the interpretation came immediately.
I was to slow down and get in the boat... Whoa. It was so clear. And so totally opposite of what I've been doing. And just like that, things suddenly got a little bit clearer and I thought back over the past couple of weeks.
I’ve been moving one-hundred miles an hour, tying to get as much done as possible. Running here, running there. Doing this, doing that. Saying yes over and over and over again. I’m just trying to paint a picture - probably one that many of you are familiar with in your own life. Then, suddenly, I hit the end of the day and I realize I haven’t taken any time to sit down with God....once again. Day one, day two, day three. The pattern continues until I honestly feel like I can’t breathe.
I got frustrated with God...how on earth do I find the time? How exactly am I supposed to get in the boat? What about the things still moving around me?
Get in the boat, He gently replies.
So I did.
I got in.
I’ve spent most of this week sitting in the boat with Jesus and listening to the soft beckoning of His voice that comes through reading His word and drawing closer to His heart.
Let me tell ya, friend.
It’s been SO good.
The world around me slowed down.
The pace of life didn't seem so fast.
I could breathe more clearly.
My thoughts were re-focused on the Lord and my prayers began to take on deeper meaning.
I'm learning that as God continually prepares me for something bigger, there will be trials. This is one of those times I believe He is asking more of me.
There are and will be seasons when it's hard to hear His voice...but He is always there and ever so patient with us.
All He is asking is that we take the time to get in the boat and He'll take care of the rest.
Who is jumping in to the boat with me?
Let’s ride it out together, friends!
Hugs,
Taryn
// About Taryn
Insta: @taryn.it.upppp
I’m an almost thirty year old gal who has experienced the radical transformation that only Jesus and His love can bring about. Although originally from Ohio, I now live in southern Tennessee and have added the phrase ya’ll to my every day vocabulary. ⠀
⠀
You can usually catch me singing along to most any song that comes on, sipping a chai tea latte at a local coffee shop, or enjoying time outdoors which is where I connect with God the most!
Evidence of a Changed life
It’s been nearly one year since I made a declaration of my new found freedom while completing a nine month (and one day) Christian residential treatment program.
I never thought I would end up in a treatment center for an eating disorder, depression and anxiety feeling suffocated by life, let alone in a treatment center at all. Yet here I am, having experienced more of the Lord, more joy, more freedom, and more heartache and pain than I imagined.
Even though this last year of freedom didn’t look remotely like I imagined it to, I can confidently say that I am not who I was; I have grown, I have changed.
Sunday I came home after church and lunch with a friend and felt an overwhelming presence that had me ugly crying at the goodness of God and it was the most beautiful thing. I sat in complete awe of the amazing work that he has done in my life.
Right before getting out of the car, my friend and I began sharing parts of our stories with each other and a simple “see ya later” turned into a twenty five minute conversation. My heart began to break as I recanted a time in high school where I was so broken and hopeless that I sat on my bed with a bottle of pills ready to end my life. The intervention of a friend that day and the grace of God is the only reason I am able to still draw breath on this day, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
As I spent that afternoon reflecting on what the Lord has done in my life I decided to take a peek at my old journals: my pre treatment college days, during treatment and now. There was an astonishment that came over me as I realized how the Lord has answered so many of my prayers. Let me tell you, it took work, and grit, steadfastness and faithfulness in the process. But what I asked of him, he guided me to.
I started off praying in 2017 for breakthrough, for freedom from sin, for a realization of his love for me, resting in him, THE LIST GOES ON. I didn’t imagine that those prayers would be answered in the way they were. It took me stepping completely outside of my comfort zone, moving to yet another state thousands of miles away from my friends and family to look at my life and choose healing, freedom, and Jesus over the ways I had found to cope.
In these past two years I see the way the Lord has continually be faithful to answer the prayers, desires and hopes that I have brought before him. As I reflect, I realize I understand his love in a completely new and beautiful way now. I am able to find rest in him and know I don’t have to prove myself to him. It didn’t happen overnight, it didn’t even happen in nine months honestly. It is this constant growing and learning.
I am not sure where we began to believe this but the process isn’t “one and done.” It is not a microwave, and there is no quick fix for learning and believe truth. For most of my life I had this thought that there was something wrong with me and that I should have had this figured out already, I should be “fixed” and I was completely missing the point. As I surrendered and gave way to the process I found more growth, more freedom, more joy than I had in my life. Did this mean that every issue I dealt with, every lie and every sin feel away? Uhm absolutely not, but there was something different.
I’ve walked as a different person these last two years. I will not fully understand or know the Lord until eternity but I’m content with surrendering my life to run after the Lord and his heart.
When you pray dear friends, do not be discouraged if you don’t see the fruit, sometimes it comes in the most unexpected ways and sometimes it takes time. But be faithful, be obedient, and be expectant. He hears you.
Challenge: There is something so beautiful about looking back and seeing the Lord move and show up. Find a notebook or journal and begin to write down some of your prayers or at least the things you are praying. Next month, 6 months from now, and next year look back and check in on how you have seen the Lord move in those areas. Watch him show up, he is MORE than enough for everything you are facing.
All my love,
Elizabeth
// About Elizabeth @etothegreeno
22. Artist. Writer. World Traveler. Light Giver.
May my life be a constant reflection of the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus. May the work he has done in me be a testimony of provision and favor.
why.
For as long I can remember, why has been a choice word. Questions coming one after another. I love back stories and the reasons behind choices. There is always an action or reaction or cause and effect, whether conscious or unconscious. It just is. When I could muster up the courage, I could ask why, though my shyness hindered my analytical nature growing up, diving deep into pointless and futile thinking patterns.
I have been told that my questions can be intimidating and perceived to some as interrogation, though that is not my intention or heart in the slightest. The statement itself caught me by complete surprise, as they rolled off a friend’s tongue. My curiosity is just in full effect and I love a good story, especially those who are willing to share and be transparent and honest and open. It is the depth and realness that questions beckon us into, should our answers be truth filled.
I see it now in my oldest son. Questions that he is brave and bold to ask anyone who will listen and answer him. His little mind soaking in what is being told to him. His eyes listening intently as he is conjuring follow up questions.
The why dives me deeper with God to questions about why he did what he did. Things that I may never know on this side of heaven but none the less lead me into other studies and other questions that he does graciously answer in the time I have given to it. The constant leading and inquiries that arise keeps the light burning.
The Lord graciously urges us to ask and seek and knock. We ask our questions, which become an adventure as we dive in to scripture and study and prayer and fasting. Asking and seeking. We have the opportunity to invite others into our questions. We invite them into the study, to come and search with us. We seek the Lord together as our questions are answered and the door is opened to his presence. To his goodness and mercy and love.
As this new year is unfolding, full of possibilities and new questions to be asked and sought after and doors opened, I pray that you would be able to see where the questions are leading you and the answers would be ones that lead you to the feet of Jesus. Praying that you would invite others into your questions, no matter how silly sounding or too small, because relationships build off of questions and answers, as does our faith. May your curiosity and faith be renewed and perhaps the answers that you believed to be true in the past would have new light shed on them, as your faith deepens in the coming year.
//DIVE DEEPER
+Read Matthew 7: 7-12. Then read it again, letting Jesus' words soak in. Highlight any words that stand out. *Use the SOAP method for a deeper study. Download it for free here.
+ Do you have any questions about God or your beliefs? Write them down and pray about them this week. Find someone to talk about them with.
+ Is there anything you are asking or seeking the Lord right now? Schedule time this week to pray specifically about it, Invite a friend to pray with you and for you through it.
Originally posted in The Inspire Monthly newsletter, January 2019. Join the adventure to be the first to get it straight to your inbox, along with other fun tidbits from the shop.
new to the team // taryn
Hi friends!
I’m so thankful for the opportunity to get to hang out with y’all on the blog!
You may remember my social media posts back in November when we were journeying together to find the joy in everyday life through the #findthejoytoday movement! Speaking of that, how’s that going for you? Are you still striving to find the joy on a daily basis, even if all of your feelings/emotions convince you there are some days that just don’t contain any joy? I promise you, there’s something joy-filled in every single day...let’s keep looking for it together! Deal?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in continual processing mode all month long. That seems to be pretty common at the beginning of a new year as we anticipate what this year will hold, in comparison to what last year or the years before that held for us, and setting goals for personal growth the months to come.
Last year was one for the books, as I finished my year long journey in a Christian residential treatment center. However, It wasn’t just treatment. It marked the beginning of a life transforming relationship with Jesus that radically rocked my world and showed me what life with Him looks like. It wasn’t easy by any means, but to be equipped to continue walking out my freedom and healing on a daily basis made it all worth it.
All month long, I’ve noticed the theme of prayer popping up every which direction I turn. It’s almost like the Lord was setting a challenge before me to turn my prayer life up a few notches.
In taking an honest evaluation of that area of my life, I realized how little of time I was spending in prayer. It seemed to be like my times of prayer was me advising God, directing God, making suggestions to God...ya know how we do sometimes. However, there was very little time spent just hanging out in His presence and adoring Him and not just throwing my requests at Him.
Don’t get me wrong. He is ok with us presenting our requests to Him, but for me that’s what my prayer times became about....constantly asking and rarely thanking. Talk about a heart check!
So, in that, He’s challenged me to set aside a certain amount of time every single day aside to just abide in Him and converse with Him like I would a friend.
He longs to be in communication with us.
We’re His children and He’s head over heels in love with His kiddos. His heart swells with pride and increased love when we choose to boldly enter the throne room and sit at His feet without an agenda. Just unrestrained time between a Father and His child. Wow.
I’m leaving you with a challenge to simply spend some time hanging out with Jesus in prayer. Maybe that’s something you already do. Awesome. Perhaps you can add in an additional time of prayer today where you focus more on listening to Him speak to you rather than you solely doing the talking.
Or maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum and you haven’t stopped and prayed for months. It’s ok if that’s where you’re at, but He’s longing to hear from you. There’s so much grace being lavished on you and He’s extending a listening ear and warm heart. ️
I’m praying for you, sweet friends! We’re all on this journey together!
See you again soon!
Love,
Taryn
Insta: @taryn.it.upppp
P.S. The breathtaking view in this picture came about as I took some time one morning this month to just be still and pray as the sun was rising over the mountains. It was almost like He was saying “hey, thanks for hanging out with me this morning. Here’s this for you to enjoy while we spend time together.”
How cool is He?!
// About Taryn
I’m an almost thirty year old gal who has experienced the radical transformation that only Jesus and His love can bring about. Although originally from Ohio, I now live in southern Tennessee and have added the phrase ya’ll to my every day vocabulary. ⠀
⠀
You can usually catch me singing along to most any song that comes on, sipping a chai tea latte at a local coffee shop, or enjoying time outdoors which is where I connect with God the most!
new to the team // Elizabeth
Hey y’all!
My name is Elizabeth and I feel so privileged to introduce myself to you all and journey with you as we dive into faith, freedom, truth, all the things! I hope and pray through my post that you will feel seen, known, loved, and inspired to continue to press on in whatever season you find. May these words not only be encouraging but bold, faith-filled, and challenging.
To start off I thought I would share a little about myself so you might have some context for what I share down the road.
Is that okay with you? (I know I can’t hear you audibly respond but I LOVE to pose questions as I write!).
I always have a hard time finding a place to begin when I share my story with people, so let’s just jump right in.
…Young Elizabeth, she felt broken, hurt, and like she could never amount to anything. These lies began to shape her life and caused her to see no hope, or purpose for her life. As a teen she struggled with suicidal ideation, self harm, and an eating disorder. Trauma from her childhood caused a lack of trust in other people and feeling like she didn’t belong. Years of being perpetually stuck in these lies really took a toll. In her second year of college she began to feel like there was absolutely no hope left and was content with death. Through faithful friends and mentors, she was able to accept that she did not want death to be the outcome of her actions and decided it was time to get help.
Sharing my story with people is not something I felt comfortable with for so long, even after going through a residential treatment facility and finding freedom that I didn’t have for so long. I was ashamed and felt like I wasn’t bad enough off to need help (which is a lie that I believed for SO long). I am thankful that was able to receive support and counseling through a Christian treatment program in Northern California. During those nine months I grew in my walk with the Lord, learned to replace truth with lies, and realized that I am more capable and stronger than imagined.
In the last several months there has been a stirring in my heart to talk more openly about the things that I have experienced or walked through. Because the thing is, we cannot grow if we are sitting in darkness, and the only way to come into the light is to be HONEST and VULNERABLE, which let me tell you friends: it can be so challenging.
Nine out of ten times it is not always comfortable in the moment to expose the things you have struggled with or are struggling with, but there is FREEDOM in doing it. A freedom that we cannot find when we are hiding in the dark.
And if we are on the topic of HONESTY, I really find it much easier to hide in the dark. But is gets uncomfortable, and scary, and I know I need to crawl back out into the light. We can’t stay where we’ve been and continue to do the same things we’ve been doing and expect to see change.
I hope through my honesty, vulnerability, and walking in the light that we can grow. Grow in truth, love, freedom, service. This life is about so much more than being freed for our own sake, but experiencing freedom, reconciliation and the gospel so the others can experience it too.
I am so looking forward to talking with you more, sharing more of my heart and seeing what the Lord does. Keep an eye out on The Inspire Shop’s social media for some posts from me and check back in February for my next blog post.
All my love,
Elizabeth// Insta @etothegreeno
// About Elizabeth
22. Artist. Writer. World Traveler. Light Giver.
May my life be a constant reflection of the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus. May the work he has done in me be a testimony of provision and favor.
the other side of the road.
Just over two years ago we signed the lease and moved across the river. For years I heard where the road had lead but never knew how to access it or where I would end up if I actually made it there.
Our first apartment upon moving into the neighborhood over a decade ago, backed up against the river, giving a clear view of the road on the other side. As we walked or rode our bikes along the river's path, taking in the gorgeous view of the sun setting on the water and fish jumping, while listening to the trees rustle, cars meandered along the road on the other side.
Almost an unknown answer to my ongoing wonder, the Lord placed us on the other side.
The road is one lane on either side, marked with curves and potholes. Lots of potholes and bumps. With new development going in, the little road has been going through some repaving and potholes have been filled and bumps are not so bumpy.
Farms and houses frame the side opposite the river. Old trees line the road, branches hugging each other from side to side, creating tunnels where city workers have shaped the branches to allow cars enough clearance.
Knowing the road now has brought to life what I had been told but never before understood. It was not something I cared enough about to venture out to or something that captivated me fully. Just something that would lightly peek my curiosity with each passing car.
Now it is my favorite to drive, only after the initial time it took to get to know its curves and turn offs and stop signs. It makes driving a bit farther but worth the extra time in beauty, prayer and worship and photos can hardly due it justice.
Direction and guidance can be explained to us until we have an understanding but it is not until we go there - until we dare to venture to roads untraveled, the places that creep us out or are hard to get to or take longer than anticipated - that we can fully comprehend the paths that lead there. And the beauty that it holds, despite the navigation it entails. The getting there.
Coming to faith was a process of getting there. Of understanding how my thinking had been biased and the freedom that came with it was not entirely for the good of those involved like I had believed. It was a process of crossing over from death to life, which has become a process of moving from shallow to depth.
As we savor this Christmas season and celebrate the birth of Jesus, I pray that you would see the roads that the Lord has brought you to, the ones that were meant to be untraveled and those that he turned into roundabouts in his grace and the ones yet to cross. Praying that if you have heard about Jesus and his love that but have never understood it, that this Christmas would be the one that changes everything as you meander over to the other side. Praying that if it is depth that your faith is lacking, that you would have the courage to dive in, truth in the faithfulness of God.
May you celebrate the season, knowing God is with you.
//DIVE DEEPER
+Read Matthew 1:18-25. What is the meaning of Emmanual (vs. 23)?
+ What is your understanding of Jesus as Savior this Christmas? Do you know him as Emmanuel or something else? Find time to pray about it.
+ How would / does knowing that God is with you change the road you find yourself on today?
Originally posted in The Inspire Monthly newsletter, December 2018. Join the adventure to be the first to get it straight to your inbox, along with other fun tidbits from the shop.
refinishing + imperfections.
Two years ago, as we settled into our new place, I started the hunt to find a table that would fit our family and allow space for others. We had outgrown our old one, as our crew climbed to six members. With more room to now hold a big farmish - style table, I set to work finding one that would work in our budget and space.
Finding a used one was a must or building it myself, as spending a small fortune on a table that was going to be surrounded with toddlers was just plain silly seeing markers and toys and scratches are just part of the day to day. I did not need another thing to steal my joy about as it got loved on a little too hard by small hands.
I found one on Craigslist and sent an email to the seller who had assured me it was grey. My husband, along with a sweet friend, picked it up together since it was so large. Purchase was on contingency: as long as it looks good. They brought it home; sizing was perfect, only to find out the color was purple, not grey.
It had great bones, so we kept it.
My mom and I painstakingly went to work; sanding down what turned out to be about ten coats of thick, purple paint.
As the coats of paint came off, blemishes and imperfections that had been hidden were now in full view. Exposed. I was surprised and excited to see some of its history being uncovered; the herringbone pattern that lay beneath, marked with dents and crevices. Some were so deep the paint kept them filled to keep them flush with the table top and others were lifted with a bit more sanding.
As this processes unfolded, the Lord started speaking about those who would gather around our table, no one coming would be perfect - everyone has scars underneath. It was another reminder of the healing process, how it takes time and prayers for scars to be healed. Some go through life without healing their scars and come to table after table with their scars hidden under pretty smiles and clothing or in full view but not ready to take the time and effort it takes for the healing to restore them.
The table is an intimate gathering of people. Sitting next to someone and sharing a meal. Have you ever had a dinner with someone you hardly knew? It can be uncomfortable at times because of its intimate setting; sitting across from someone, making eye contact, sometimes searching for conversation in the pauses. The table spans every race and color and gender and anything else that can separate because food is essential to live. It unites the human race. Everyone needs bread. Everyone needs the Bread of Life.
As we sanded and stained and primed and painted, I prayed over the table. For the people who would gather around and share meals with us. For our family and friends and extended loved ones and those we had yet to meet and those who had previously called the table theirs.
The table came together, by God's grace better than anticipated and with more effort than I would have liked to have given; a hodgepodge of sorts just in time for hosting Thanksgiving that year, perfect for feasting weekly on Taco Tuesday and coloring and playing board games and all the in between. And built benches to match but that is another story.
Praying that as you gather together to celebrate Thanksgiving this month that you would take advantage of the opportunity to invite others to your table, really inviting people in. Praying that you wherever you find yourself, that you would be open to hearing and listening and focusing less on the preparations and decorations of the feast and more on your heart towards each of the guests around you. That your heart would be prayerfully prepared first and foremost before the turkey is ever put in the oven. Praying that you would see that the space you make at the table for others is more valuable than anything else you can offer.
Originally posted in The Inspire Monthly newsletter, November 2018. Join the adventure to be the first to get it straight to your inbox, along with other fun tidbits from the shop.
christmas photos to remember
As we jump into the holiday season, our Christmas infographs and cards are back in the shop. Infographs have been a fun tradition for our family, as each person shares a favorite memory and top three facts for the year. The perfect snapshot to remember as the years go by. You can get your family memory train rolling with a free download of our Reflections of the Year.
What I love about Christmas cards are the memories behind getting those pretty pictures that leap from the card.
On our first family picture shoot our daughter, who was one year at the time, hardly lifted her mouth for a smile. My mom commented on how she wasn't smiling in any of them, which I was a little bummed about. But that was just her personality and I was just happy to have her in the photo.
That is the point, right? To have everyone in one photo; a family portrait.
In the past few Christmas card pictures there's been some fun faux pas, which make me smile, especially since hardly anyone noticed until I commented on it.
2014: We left Jude's shoes in the car that we had just taken to the mechanic for a tune up and wouldn't be back until after our scheduled photo session. Enter red socks for the picture.
2015: Jude's sock came off, along with his shoe and didn't want to take the picture. So if you look closely, he's sockless and his shoe is just about to fall off. A little trend here with his shoes (and shoes in general with our kiddos).
2016: Penny told us she had a snag in her tights as everyone climbed in the car to take our photos. As we backed out of the drive way, she had completely demolished them at the knee, leaving a gaping hole. Enter good design to cover it, at just the right spot.
2017: Skyler wanted to runaway. THE. WHOLE. TIME. See his running pose?
Family pictures capture each personality, which is a family at its best. So these days, as long as the gang's all here, it hardly matters exactly what they are doing. Though a smile is appreciated and rewarded with lollipops or Trader Joe’s Candy Cane JoeJoe’s.
What's your favorite family picture?
not so shiny.
Some things make you feel a little more you than you may have been before.
For our anniversary this year, my husband and I did a little shopping and came across a pair of Converse in my size and for a third of normal retail price.
Converse were my jam in high school and early college until my feet started bothering me and shoes with words like comfort in them filled my closet and were reminiscent of a grandma, as my sister told me.
By God’s grace my feet have mostly stopped bothering the last few years and I wore Converse for the first time in perhaps a decade, though I cannot recall exactly, on our family outing to celebrate my father in laws birthday this past July. He treated everyone to a local theme park. On the way there, as my in laws caravanned alongside, commented on the amusement of the progression of my feet on the dash, a bad habit I try not to do.
The comment made me laugh as I had been shoeless until our nearly two and a half hour drive came to a close and then the familiar laces made their way through the loops and it felt a little like channeling my sixteen year old self. Though my sixteen year old self went all over looking for pink converse because black ones were too common and when the pink faded, fabric markers revived them and kept good company with the song lyrics and quotes already on the rubber.
Something about new shoes never feels fully comfortable to me. Especially Converse. My friends and I would purposely make them dirty to break them in. Taking away a bit of the shiny, white soles as we laughed, stepping on each other’s feet.
Wearing new shoes all day around the park felt a bit off. A bit too clean. A bit too shiny. Lacking character and miles walked. No indents marking the corners but with each step, sweet memories of the kiddos swarming their grandpa as they headed to rides and attractions, slowly but surely helped break them in just a bit.
Growing up, things always were physically neat and tidy in our home. Organized and in its place. But sixteen found me without a stable home and life was anything but clean and organized. Perhaps that gave way for my lack of taste for clean shoes. The desires to match the messiness of my heart and life echoed on them, too.
Even after the Lord has healed the broken years, there is something comfortable about dirty shoes that makes me breathe a bit easier. Feel a bit more free and are reminiscent of an old friend, ready to go even if years have gone by since the last conversation. No obligation to upkeep them because the mess is their upkeep. That is the way they look their best. To the person who likes pretty shoes, you may never understand and that is perfectly okay.
As we come to embrace who we are and are comfortable in the way the Lord has created us, there is freedom. I do not speak of soaking in our sin, rather who we are as people, people who feel and have emotions that sometimes look grimy due to things in our past that have occurred and are hard to understand how it affects us like it does and soaking in God’s grace as he continues to renew us day by day. People who love themselves and love God and are cultivating hearts of compassion for others.
// REFLECTIONS
+ What is one physical thing that brings life and a smile to your face? Take a moment to thank God for it.
+ How have you seen God use a person, place or thing to aid in your understanding of how He has worked in your life?
// PRAYER
Praying you would have the freedom through Christ to be yourself. Praying you would enjoy the things you like and that God has made and said are good, despite what others may believe. Praying the Lord would show you how he created you and how you are wired and that you can live life to the fullest because of His love for you.
Originally posted in The Inspire Monthly newsletter, October 2018. Join the adventure to be the first to get it straight to your inbox, along with other fun tidbits from the shop.
here's to adventures
The word ADVENTURE has been imprinted in my vocabulary in a way of making transitions and life feel that much more bold and audacious to the everyday grind that tends to come to mind. So when I came across this “every day is an adventure” stamp on birthday shopping trip with my daughter, it instantly became part of my collection and has widdled its way into pages of my Find the Joy Today notebook.
When I speak of adventures and wish others well on their adventures to come, it more of an invitation to view what is to come with that fierceness and fervor that seem to vibrate off of the very word. This connotation that things will happen but everything is okay and we can laugh and wait for the next segment because it is all part of the adventure and our mind set is right there – fixed on an adventure, not what lies ahead. And if we happen to on that adventure with Jesus, then we can be assured He has us in the palm of his hand and will never leave or forsake us.
Adventures tend to look like days and moments of ordinary. If we look at it under a microscope or a strip of film, it looks like nothing more than dishes and bed time routines and work but in the bigger picture - filled beginning to the end - it looks like a hero coming to save the day and His army leading people into love and freedom by cooking meals on every day dishes and creating safe and loving environments for children who have never known love or routine, tucking them into beds each night. And the job, it is the thing that pushes us into people we may not readily desire to be around day after day, who are different than we are but who God uses to shape us, as we willingly love whoever we come into contact with in that particular moment, knowing it is who we are being sent to.
Adventures look like relationships, which is probably why I love a good memoir, steeped with honesty and depth. The best novels and movies are the ones with the deepest, well developed characters; the ones who make us cry when they leave or mess up or totally blow it and finally get it together. The ones we are rooting for and can relate to because they remind us of ourselves or our little brother or Aunt Mae.
Adventures hardly come with rock climbing gear or kayaks, though that is what everyone may be telling us that we need, along with hopping on a plane to go far from wherever it is that we are located.
But what really is adventurous is daring to live right where we are. With people who really know us. People we are going to see and again. People who can root for us and tell us how it really is and if we have broccoli in our teeth.
Because a new scenery maybe enticing but our same heart, our same memories, our same hurts and fears and insecurities will be in tow wherever our longitude and latitude ends up.
The greatest adventure may just be the one back to ourselves. Back to Jesus. The one back to the people who share our same blood and dimples and at one time perhaps the same last name; back to where we started in the town that was always too small with nothing to do.
Running back to the arms of Jesus, as he heals the parts that have died in the adventurous days of failure and heartbreak and sorrows and let downs. Adventures of this kind take bravery of soul and feel like a knife to the heart, dying to ourselves to freely live.
Here’s to adventures and living with courage.
Praying that wherever your adventure has you currently, that you would find thankfulness there in the moments that are joy filled and those that seem half empty. Praying you would have eyes to see what the Lord is teaching and using and guiding you into. Praying that whatever you find yourself, that you would trust Jesus through it all, healing and reviving and breathing life in your soul for the adventures to come.